It’s never just a cricket match!

24^th March 2011, a day that took away all the senses of a few billion people watching an EPIC match between India (Bharat) and Australia (um..Kangaroos?).

As the match began and the Australians were batting, I indulged my mind into some other activities, staying as far as possible from the TV screen. I have this (superstitious) belief that every time I watch a match of a team I support, my favorable team loses. I know it sounds ridiculous has to how MY presence amongst so many people could affect the fate of a team. But still I believe in the notion and keep my eyes away from the TV. Though my friends constantly assured me that we will win, I didn’t want to take a risk. I actually went to have panipuri because I was so restless. After I went home I sat aimlessly on Facebook, every time my heart skipping a beat when people in the streets yelled. The Australians put up a score of 261, which was far below than what I had expected of them. But knowing that there is always an equal chance with a strong team like Australia, I just prayed to God that we win, literally. I hadn’t been to the prayer room in ages (since my boards ended) and I know it seems selfish to remember God only when you need him, but I still prayed that we win. Somehow, I felt confident that my prayers won’t go unanswered.

Our batting started. I do not know much about the technicalities of cricket. I can just curse the Captain for a bad judgment, but I can not pin point the mistakes. I am like those thousands of devoted fans who probably know nothing of the game but still watch it like we could be pros.

Our openers decide half our game. Sachin, sorry, God is like our lucky charm. If Sachin plays, India wins. After the dismissal of Sehwag (I thought it was Sachin, but later realized it was Sehwag and relaxed a bit. Stupid internet sources :@). But my peace of mind did not last long. Sachin was out. I have to say, Yuvraj did save our ass and Dhoni made a remarkable judgment by keeping Pathan out of the game (something my mom was so proud of) and keeping Raina instead. The whole time I was sitting in the room next to the TV room and praying endlessly. I was nervous. More nervous than I was before giving my Economics board exam. For the 30 seconds I came into the living room to watch, we lost another wicket and my mother, very kindly, told me to get lost. I couldn’t stop laughing at the fact that even my very rational mother now believed that I had something to do with our team winning :D

Every now and then I was called to give water to the cheering crowd at my house and I remarked later after we had won the match that I felt like Pathan; sitting out of the game yet helping the team win :D

I was getting hilarious updates from various friends. For instance, one of friends remarked at Gambhir’s wicket “I don’t know what he was doing. Was he horny and he thought Yuvraj was Eva Green or something that he started running like mad?”. Haha. i had lost hope in the middle, but somehow, we managed. Actually, we more than managed. We pretty much owned it. When the final over came, my mother continuously insisted I come and join everyone, but I refused. I remember the India- England match and frankly, my heart was in no position to take another draw. I sat outside till the last ball, and on the last ball, I came in, Yuvi hit a four and I saw the most adorable sight of the day- my grandmother started clapping like a little kid! J

We were all highly overjoyed. Did we just beat the Australians? Did we just beat the three time world champions? I couldn’t believe it. I think I was crying. So was Ponting, but for a different reason altogether. I did not feel so bad for him but I did for Lee (who had gotten hurt pretty bad earlier) because he is the only player I like from their team. Otherwise, Australians are sore losers. They curse and abuse and an instance which I repeated more often than necessary, they had broken our washing machines when they lost from us in the Common Wealth Games. They really need to learn how to be sporty. I was being a sadist and I couldn’t help it. I was happy. Very, very happy. I could hear people bursting fire crackers outside. Even my dog got up from her beauty sleep to wag her tail a few times! :P

I celebrated with my crazy sister and to much annoyance of my mother by dancing on “sadi galli” like a maniac.. we laughed like retards and then finally, it settled in. We had really won! Next we play Pakistan at Mohali and the its going to be even more crazier. I just can not wait for the next match!

In India, cricket is not just a game. Its religion. it’s a matter of life or death, pride or disgrace, laughter and tears. We are winning the Cup this time, and there is no stopping us! :D

Why am I so lost?

I have everything anyone can ever want. Loving parents, awesome friends, a life to look forward to and a career I aim at achieving. Still, every night when the world is asleep and there is peace, I find myself lost.. I feel a sudden ache caused by a grave feeling of loneliness. The day passes quickly and I do not mind being alone, the sounds of the happenings around me keeping my thoughts at bay. As the night approaches, I find myself staring at objects for no certain reason. Its like a void. Random thoughts that haunt me, thoughts that probably mean nothing but still make me uneasy. Sleep rarely comes easily and often I have to wait for my mind to shut up so that I can escape to weird dreams that are somehow more soothing than reality.

A few years back I had developed a sleep disorder. Times then were different though.. Maybe I just never let go. I have tried everything to fill in the emptiness, but I guess, life can never be perfect. Everyone can't have everything. I had learnt it years ago that life is a compromise and happiness is always followed by sadness. 

Maybe one day, when I will find what I want and the annoying feeling will go away. I just need find out what it is that's bothering me so much. The day I find out what it is, I will make sure I get it. Because I am tired of being lost and sleepless..

To dream beyond a nightmare.

Recently I read an article about a young Yemeni girl of ten years of age who was married, sexually exploited and beaten mercilessly by her husband and in-laws. She was sold by her father, bought by a monster, lived with blood suckers and in her tender age of ten, lived a nightmare many of us can not even imagine.

In my neighbourhood, there is this wife beater who beats his wife each day, there are noises of screaming and crying and nobody seems to care. I can not place exactly which apartment the noises are from but once I did have a strong urge to call the police. The howling soon stopped and I kept wondering to myself why a woman would live with a man who beats her everyday.

Women, by nature, are more submissive and resigned than men. They have immense mental strength and go through agonising mental and physical torture each day, each moment just to make someone else happy. But, the question is, is this fair? Obviously not, many of us would say. But, go back to the older generation and the women will tell you that a woman's life is filled with pain and sacrifice and that it is her duty to put up a brave face, no matter what.

I have lived in a very liberal atmosphere, I am the only child and my parents are very supportive of me. I never realised how much that meant until I saw women fighting for their most basic right, the right to live. I am a woman and I am proud of being one. I do not call myself a feminist, I believe in equality. But I also believe that sometimes you have to fight for what you deserve. I want to see all women, regardless of their religion, caste, colour or creed, to stand up and fight for what they deserve. I want to see men respect women and their feelings, to value their emotions and talent. I want to see equality, I want to see love. I want to see a dream beyond the nightmare.